Monday 17 December 2012

A year's end cornucopia of frivolity ....

Phobias...true or false?

Ornithophobia - fear of Birds
Verbophobia – Fear of words
Spectrophobia – Fear of mirrors and reflection
Pupaphobia - Fear of Puppets
Luposlipaphobia – The fear of being chased by wolves while 
wearing socks on a recently waxed floor.
Venustraphobia – The fear of beautiful women.
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia – The fear of long words.

Barophobia Fear of gravity
Pentheraphobia - Fear of Mother in Law





Riddle:
I have one, you have one.
If you remove the first letter, a bit remains.
If you remove the second, bit still remains.
After much trying, you might be able to remove the third one also, but it remains.
It dies hard!





Riddle:
This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.



Riddle: 
Three guests check into a hotel room. The clerk says the bill is $30, so each guest pays $10. Later the clerk realizes the bill should only be $25. To rectify this, he gives the bellhop $5 to return to the guests. On the way to the room, the bellhop realizes that he cannot divide the money equally. As the guests didn’t know the total of the revised bill, the bellhop decides to just give each guest $1 and keep $2 for himself.
Now that each of the guests has been given $1 back, each has paid $9, bringing the total paid to $27. The bellhop has $2. If the guests originally handed over $30, what happened to the remaining $1?



Friday 14 December 2012

A true Chanteuse ....

We have a celebrity in our midst...!

Those of you well versed in all things funbus will be fondly acquainted with our inspirational senior role model namely the esteemed A Jefford esq. Well he is blessed with having a celebrity wife who not only puts up with him and his quirky ways but also finds time to exercise her vocal prowess in the company of fellow songsters.

The Fleet Rock Choir ....of which the talented Mrs J is a leading Diva...is a mighty professional troupe of choralists who have excited and delighted at numerous 'gigs' around the northern hemisphere. Suffice to say that their fame has spread so far they were personally invited to perform for royalty at the Albert Hall for William and Kate

Something inside so strong... and Walking on Broken Glass were the performances of the evening as they brought the house down...

Check them out - they are seriously good.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rock-Choir/231809461993

Mrs J...the funbus applauds you and confirms your induction into the hallowed Funbus Hall of Fame and henceforth you can proudly proclaim you are indeed
.....a fellow funbuser!






Mrs J celebrates her
Albert Hall triumph
and being inducted
into the Hall of Fame
with fellow Funbusers

Wednesday 12 December 2012

We are a Year old ...


The Bish and I have reached that point in life where if a year was a week then we have lived a year...'ll let you work that one out

Reflecting upon this at probably too much length I have a few thoughts to share ...they are my thoughts but someone else's words. No reason for sharing them except I think they are worth stating.

So here they are and as a challenge see if you can identify which kindred spirit articulated them.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” 

“Get busy living or get busy dying.”

“May you live every day of your life.”

“Life is to be enjoyed, not endured”

“Life is for the living.
Death is for the dead.
Let life be like music. 
And death a note unsaid.”

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”

“If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.”

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away


Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.


Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain.


There's no fun in a perfect life.
So make a risk
Take a chance
Go where the wind takes you
Have fun

..........and my personal favourite

There may be trouble ahead
But while there's music and moonlight 

and love and romance
Let's face the music and dance


So who said what??


Douglas Adams   
Stephen King
Jonathan Swift    
Gordon B Hinckley
Langston Hughes  
EE Cummings
Amy Tan
shing xiong
Dr. Seuss
 idk
?
Irving Berlin

Thursday 29 November 2012

Mehr Leistung zum Ellbogen .....

Grüße meine Freunde ...
Not really sure why I am writing in German but it does liven things up a little - anyway I will leave it to you to make use of the google translating service.

As our tweeting Amigo let slip last week, tickets to see the famous foot tapping ensemble, curiously named Elbow were secured and with the beautiful one having to pull out with a last minute injury, the Bish stepped in and so reunited again we journeyed to that cultural oasis, colloquially referred to as Birmingham.

Elbow:
Not to be confused with ...

.....one of these


Hailing from Manchester they have been around for many a year - indeed their first EP was released June 15th 1998. 10 years later and they win the Mercury award with 'The Seldom Seen Kid' - triumphing over such illuminaries as Adele, Radiohead and Robert Plant who were on the shortlist.

Anyway - great set: ...note the new song at Number 5, its a goodie!

Intro
1.     High Ideals 
2.     The Bones of You 
3.     Grace Under Pressure 
4.     Mirrorball 
5.     Charge 
6.     Leaders of the Free World 
7.     Grounds for Divorce 
8.     The Loneliness of a Tower Crane Driver 
9.     The Night Will Always Win 
10.  Weather to Fly 
11.  Fugitive Motel 
12.  Puncture Repair 
13.  Lippy Kids 
14.  The Birds 
15.  Open Arms 
Encore:
16.  Starlings 
17.  One Day Like This 





Saturday 17 November 2012

Sibling genius ...

Now and again there are moments when you are genuinely surprised and struck dumb in sheer admiration of an event, gesture, comment, item...it could be anything, but you know it when you see or feel it.

I have had quite a few moments like this - the male heir's film debut, the first born's fashion show and the beautiful one herself.

Smithington minimus my younger sibling has turned this ...




Into these beauties....



Truly genius!

Friday 16 November 2012

Darting over the Severn ...

If there is one thing you cannot accuse the Bish of being is ..... is being idle.
The man has been cruising the virtual  bazaar, colloquially known as Bay of the E. His patience and perseverance has been richly rewarded. He has tracked down, haggled over and successfully purchased a selection of seats for the mighty bus for a very reasonable sum.

So it was over to yours truly to fire up the Smithington Jalopy and venture forth to collect these prized possessions. The first trip saw me cross the Thames at the Dartford crossing and venture into an area that quite frankly made me glad that the jolly old automobile had locks on its doors!

For the uninitiated the Dartford crossing consists of 2 tunnels each 1430m long taking you south to north and a bridge spanning 450 metres and rising to a height of 137m, for the return journey. The bridge opened in 1991 and the tunnels in 1963 and 1980 respectively. The reason for sharing this is .....beacuse I think its quite interesting.



Anyway, another trip was required to collect yet more furniture but this time heading due west. Traversing the original Severn Crossing, it occurred to me that  I seem to get all the fun jobs!

The crossing opened in 1966 and spans the rivers Wye and Severn. It is not one bridge but actually consists of 4 distinct units - the Aust viaduct, the Severn bridge, Beachley viaduct and the Wye bridge. Now I do find that a lovely bit of useless information.



Meandering up the Wye valley, the journey is one I have made several times before and I have to say we must get the funbus there as it is a delight with really good pubs en route particularly at Tintern. No problem securing the seats and happy to leave the doors unlocked ....West is best in my book.

This is what the fuss is all about and Bish is already getting excited at the thought of mastering the mechanical complexities of fitting them





Friday 9 November 2012

A greek hero given the needle ....

Chums - what can I say!....I have a confession to make.

In true testosterone fuelled fashion, I have manfully soldiered on over the last 6 months with what I thought was an age related dodgy ankle and tight hamstring that has increasingly reduced me to a bizarre gait and a penchant for paracetemol. Well, after finally bowing to the beautiful one's awesome wisdom I finally admitted that there may be a remote chance I had a slight medical defect and maybe I should get it looked at by someone who (as unlikely as it may sound) is appropriately qualified and as such may know more about this than I do. So with deep trepidation and despondency off I went to meet my local General Practitioner.

 It seems I am the proud owner of an 'opothy' ..... to be exact I have Achillies Tendinopathy - I am officially diseased!

So now I have to stop my galavanting ways until the blithering thing has mended itself.

I am now in therapy - Physiotherapy to be exact. A young lady not much older than the first born has been rubbing my leg and ankle every Friday for the last few weeks. It is not exciting and it is rather annoying, until today.

Today I had Acupuncture - she took great delight in stabbing me with copper needles that are meant to get my Chi channels running free. Anyway I survived and in a curious kind of way feel rather proud of myself.

Its OK...but I think she thought me rather strange when I asked for pictures!



Friday 2 November 2012

Proud to announce ...

Well my funbus hombres - what can I say. The mighty bus has sailed through its annual medical and has been given a clear bill of health for a further 12 months. No operations or medical interventions of any kind are required - it is in fine fettle.

A wise and elderly mechanic who looked like Yoda's younger sibling cast an expert and very detailed eye over every inch of the bus and deemed it good. He commented on the quality of the bodywork and waxed lyrical about the delights of a computerless internal combustion engine - apparently they don't make them like this any more! Regrettably it was me he was conversing with and not the Bish so it was a one sided conversation with yours truly nodding and grunting at the right moments wondering what language he was talking and where was the nearest Costa. He was however a jolly old boy and I would have no problem spending a convivial hour or two in a pub with him - just as long as Bish was there to interpret!


This is a clean 2 litre Pinto ford engine that Yoda's brother  is in love with. 
The one in the bus is a tad rustier!

....and this is Yoda. 


So here is the final pic as the funbus heads off to its winter quarters and hibernation...


Plans are already being hatched about 2013 possibilities. Known destinations are France and the Vendee; Glasto of course and Croyde but thoughts are also turning to the Forest of Dean, Derbyshire,Amsterdam and even Copenhagen - world and oyster springs to mind.

So adieu, farewell, so long, au revoir to the mighty bus until 2013.

Monday 22 October 2012

Final leg of the 2012 tour ..

As October swings into its full autumnal shades of scarlet and ochre the funbus made its end of season pilgrimage to its adopted UK spiritual home in North Devon - the delight that is Croyde.

small but beautifully formed ..... just like me!
















                                                     Its a smashing little place with a gift of a beach that just keeps giving. Whilst the rest of the country enjoyed typical dour weather we basked, yes basked in warmth; cloudless azure skies and genial bonhomie amongst the weird and wonderful fellow pilgrims who share our interest in good beer, good food, easy living and splashing around in the sea. Refreshingly these are not the beautiful people one associates with surfing but genuine lovers of individual freedom and more importantly, not caring what they look like in a wetsuit.

Well the water was good and the swell more than adequate for good runs and tumbles. The boards were well used and the only disappointment being that we had to use full suits instead of the shorties, which meant no bronzed forearms glistening in the sun as the sea water dries (we wish!!). As you would expect much gentle fun was had and we thoroughly enjoyed splashing around.

Having worked up a thirst and exercised mightily, it felt only right to avail ourselves of the services provided by the local hostelries, two were chosen and sampling began. We started at the Thatch with the famous and renowned St. Austell brewed Tribute ale. It was first brewed in 1999 to commemorate the solar eclipse and has been going strong ever since. We liked it so much we stayed with it all evening - even when we moved on to Billy Budd's. Just like the legendary Doombar we are pleased to recommend Tribute as a damn fine libation.




Good Ale here at the Thatch.

...and here at Billy Budds

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
The added bonus of the final sojourn is the annual clearing of the van - weird and wonderful foods were discovered in the larder resulting in wonderful concoctions all swilled down with copious amounts of vin rouge as long lost supplies were found and consumed with much gusto! However the highlight were the mighty rib-eyes that the Bish cooked to perfection together with the piquant..very piquant! rice , onions and sweetcorn. 

Saturday morning was memorable as I could not find my Blackberry. I was torn between elation at being free from work but cheesed off that I was unable to communicate to the beautiful one and offspring let alone the wider world. We hunted high and low but to no avail. So using Bish's trusty Nokia I made the required calls to work and O2 to cancel the number. Having now returned to reality, a new phone has been sourced and I am back in the grip and control of work - alas!

Here are some snaps to prove we were basking in sunshine at the end of October. 

They do say the sun shines on the righteous !






Sunday 14 October 2012

I confess - I am a Knutt

Once a Knutt - always a Knutt




Sunday 7 October 2012

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly .....

The Good....
What a fraught and tense morning it has been! Sunday October 7th 2012. In total we had at least 8 fully manned Pc's and laptops striving to access the dreaded Glasto ticket sales site. Huge despondency as the morning wore on and news filtered through that tickets were selling fast. Finally after an hour and 35 minutes the call came from the the first born - tickets purchased - we were going to Glasto 2013. 5 minutes later and all sold out! All hail the great Hannah and her mighty Mac, ably assisted by O Taylor esq. (Mr Taylor - a fine fellow of a man has now been formally inducted into the funbus roll of honour for services above and beyond the call of duty)

The Bad....
Fun bus chums and acquaintances have not been so fortunate. We must now all endure an anxious wait to the resale of cancelled tickets and using all of our computer resources in the New Year - fingers crossed that all will be well. The legend that is the Hendy or new funbus'ers Rachel & Lee would be sorely missed and lamented.

The Ugly...
Flushed with warm feelings of anticipation for next year, the beautiful one and I sallied forth on a therapeutic walk to clear the cobwebs. It sure did remind us of what we had in store.




Monday 24 September 2012

Locks and Follies ....

Henley on Thames - Quintessentially English and a rather pleasant little 'tory borough'. Indeed before being elected Mayor of London, the mighty Boris was its MP and before him Michael Heseltine!
Its dominated by all things rowing and feels like a place where new money ( notable celebs with 'cribs' in the area -  Liam Gallagher, Orlando Bloom and Phillip Schofield) are trying to buy a history and gate crash a society stretching back centuries whilst the old money watches in isolated amusement.

Anyway - the funbus rocked up in fine fettle for a weekend of R&R at this delightful little town that seems to live in a tranquil bubble of 'niceness' as the rest of the world hurries by. A good place to stop and smell the flowers and take a moment to reflect on life, adventures and the universe.

First thing is its old - its been around since 1180. It seems to have had a quiet life, probably the biggest thing of note (apart from the rowing regatta) is that it lost 60% of its population in the 14th century to the black plague. Even older is the Hambleden Lock 2/3 miles downstream from Henley which we rambled to after a bracing visit to the renowned and appropriately named Angel-on-the-bridge  hostelry, ideally located on the famous Henley bridge (that incidentally was struck by a boat in 2010 called the Crazy Love) on a glorious sunny Saturday. There is a record of there being a Lock in-situ as far back as 1086 when the Doomsday book was being written, suffice to say its been updated since then but still well worth the effort to visit.

Along the way we came across the famous Temple Island folly which is what it says on the tin - a small island in the Thames with a temple built on it. The big question is why in 1771 did a rich person want a fishing lodge to look like a temple built on an island. I guess we will never know the answer. All I would observe is that Sambrooke Freeman who made the decision obviously had more money than sense. Still it is a rather fetching Folly now used for weddings!

The Lock is a rather interesting area with a weir beloved by ducks and various water fowl and a long footbridge enjoyed by tourists, ramblers and the general hoi-polloi.

..footpath and weir.
Orderly water fowl


Hoi-Polloi




























We were lucky enough to witness inland waterway road rage when a rather imposing lady octogenarian took umbrage when mooring etiquette was not correctly followed by some young bounders...very scary and yet quaintly surreal. I am not sure her ninety year old husband was entirely happy with the situation as the young bounders comprised 3 burly chaps with rather coarse manners! Still you have to hand to the aged lady - her death stare was truly awesome bordering on Medusa like! Thankfully a satisfactory outcome was found when the bounders decided to turn tail and head back down stream.      

We also found a rather nice inn providing welcome succour after our exertions in getting to the Lock. Refreshed and refuelled we ambled back to town for a fun evening of merriment. Stopping off at the Three Tuns and the Old Bell (oldest building and pub in Henley c.1325) en-route. I have to applaud the local Brakspeare brewery for producing some rather refreshing brews!

Sunday dawned wet and stayed wet - it really was good weather for ducks...




We like Henley ... its our kind of town.

Monday 10 September 2012

Pop pickers, TOGS, pop royalty & Elgar

Fans of the funbus may recall a sojourn to the gentile suburbs of Oxfords and its sleepy spires that resulted in invites being obtained to attend the royal court of Kylie. Well the time had come and impeccably dressed in suitable attire as befitting such an illustrious event we set off for an audience with Ms Minogue.

I have to say that we were somewhat miffed and disappointed that she had extended the invitation to 40,000 others but in true funbus fashion we put on a brave face..and opened the wine!

Hyde Park in the warm sunshine is a grand place to spend  convivial hours with friends and chums especially when entertainment of many differing varieties is provided by that grand old dame - the BBC.

The ever young Tony Blackburn regaled us with his endearing vacuous comments that cheered us up immensely in a nostalgic kind of way and reminded you that british institutions are like dogs at Christmas - for life. Music was bouncy from the Chicago Blues Brothers, Gypsy Queens and a gospel choir.

Sir Terence arrived in all his pomp and splendour to the huge delight of the amassed TOGS hanging on his every word - he really is rather clever and as knights of the realm go, I do have a huge affection for him - he does make me laugh (oh dear I am officially a TOG!). It was hilarious to see him trying to do the 'Mobot' without dislodging his syrup!

Alfie Boe and Il Divo exuded class and I for one will be researching their back catalogues and then there was Kylie.

That I should be so lucky to be in her presence is a thought that I can't get out of my head, it sends me spinning around so much I have to stop and breathe. That she should come into my world on a night like this was like taking a step back in time and yes, it was love at first sight......

True Pop royalty - what a great night my only niggle was that I (and I think some others as well) came to dance but she showed her real talent by slowing the favourites down and thereby putting a whole new intriguing twist on them. The Abbey Road album is out on the 29th October - the funbus strongly recommends its purchase.

Pop Princess



Mere Mortals
Pop Pickers ...



..and then there was Elgar. The BBC Symphony Orchestra and 'Jiri' - we are going to sorely miss dear old Jiri. Land of Hope and Glory, Jerusalem, unashamed British jingoism, flag waving - so proud.

Gotta love Jiri ....

Then off into the London evening to laugh and chat long into the night at the oldest licensed hostelry in London (first issued in 1216), ideally located in Drury Lane and selling DOOMBAR which completes the circle from that rainy night in Spring when the whole adventure was hatched and planned - VIVE UT VIVAS


A great day indeed



Wednesday 5 September 2012

Paralympics 2012

Went to the athletics last night and I can confirm what many have said:

a) The stadium is awesome


b) The overall organisation is superb


c) The noise is incredible


d) It really is a huge McDonalds

e) Also a mention for the London Overground network, we travelled from Richmond to Stratford, smart,
clean stations and trains (see http://www.tfl.gov.uk/corporate/projectsandschemes/15359.aspx)

Bish


Thursday 23 August 2012

Rewind 2012 style

So the mighty bus trundled into the exclusive idyll that is Henley for the 80's jamboree that this year promised much and didn't fail to deliver.

Off site and on the other side of the sleepy grey waters of the Thames we pitched camp in a rather nice site with clean showers and latrines away from the overcrowded shanty town of tents that had arisen over night around the festival site.

A momentous moment as alongside us -  new motor home enthusiasts and honoury fun busers - Rachel & Lee managed to successfully manoeuvre their Winnebago onto the pitch and drinks were opened!

Lee and the mighty Winnie!
 An evening ensued of various and plentiful libations soaked up with a warming bowl of the beautiful one's chilli. To ease the inevitable indigestion we set off to the festival to get the de-rigour wristbands to ensure easy entrance over the next 2 days and to meet up with Rewind chums of old who were braving the shanty town all be it in the 'glamping' suburb! All the literature said a 20 minute walk suffice to say 45 minutes later we arrived  eager to slake the thirst generated by the trek. Decision was made there and then that river taxi's would be our favoured mode of transport for the weekend!

Saturday dawned bright and hot and all was good with the world - in fact Sunday did the same..the only cloud on the horizon was I awoke on Saturday with a somewhat delicate constitution having picked up some kind of bug. It turned out that the male heir was similarly struck down. Well I didn't let the numerous visits to festival porta-loos spoil my day (..remember I survived the glasto long drops ) but it meant I had to pass the drinking baton to the trusty Bish, who rest assured rose to the occasion magnificently.

So we enjoyed  a weekend of laughs and fun doing what you do at festivals....

Music wise I have to say that in MY OPINION....Adam Ant was unique!
Grandmaster Flash; Soul II Soul; Heather Small; the Lightning Seeds; T Pau were all good.
Midge Ure; The Straits; Tony Hadley and OMD were excellent
Kool & the Gang, Roland Gift, and Jimmy Sommerville were outstanding
and Marc Almond (for me) was a triumph!

Here are some pics... courtesy of fun bus aficionado 'Rick'.

Catching some rays ..... 
Beautiful world...beautiful people

Rachel & Lee join the fun busers



The Rewind possee......